Look at this!
“Oh let me show you a trick that I know, look at this!” are the words of the rather jubilant, free champagne consumer, who confronts me. “Of course you can, that would be excellent.” I reluctantly reply, handing over my newly opened Bicycle deck with the knowledge that their returned state will be less than desirable.
What will invariable proceed is a self-working trick your Nan could accomplish, despite her visionary impairment and crippling arthritis. “Excellent trick yeah, very well done.” I politely reply in the hope of the imminent return of my cards. “Cheers I know a couple of others though mate, erm watch this one.”
What’s the solution - refuse the lending of cards and appear obstinate and arrogant? It just bewilders me that such a predicament manifests at every few performances. I wonder if performers in other fields experience similar? I have absolutely no musical ability whatsoever and the only piano “tune” I can perform is a pathetic, comical routine using a few notes. Subsequently if a pianist was between songs at a function I was attending it wouldn’t cross my mind to intrude, asking if I could “show him a tune that I know”.
In the large scale of it all this isn’t the world’s greatest problem admittedly, just on occasions a slight irritant. However, it got the better of me at a recent corporate event - someone just showed me one too many of their tricks and I subsequently took them outside and executed a damn good hiding! I feel slightly guilty now. But she should’ve known better. Especially at her elderly age.
© Robert Fox, October 2006